Some interesting emails between me and my hero Karen: (edited for length... hopefully they will still make sense)
Karen! As far as being in a bible study, I am not, and actually don't really plan on it. Not because I am against them or anything, but because I am so busy that I feel I have to pick one or the other. I haven't been able to do anything as much as I've wanted to recently, but hopefully I will get more accustomed to my new schedule this semester and be able to spend more time there.
I'm sure you know what I mean when I get so sick of the world - 4 or 5 times a year (ok, maybe more), I cry myself to sleep because I just can't handle how mean the world is sometimes, and I cry for kids I don't know, and people I haven't met, and people I know that hurt, and I can't ever find Jesus in it. So sometimes trying to explain to other people that Jesus is real helps me to believe it too. There are so many things that I can't wrap my mind or heart around, and I can't ever decide if my faith isn't big enough or if other people just let themselves be led blindly by anything that is claimed to be said in the name of Jesus.
When the bible says "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." does that mean that someone who lays down his life for someone, but never says, "Jesus, I love you" goes to hell?? Really?! Seriously? I would think it would take a lot of balls to go ahead and believe that, and I just can't. I can't take everything so black and white - even though I know that's the easiest way to teach things.. it just doesn't really work. I don't understand the old testament God who seems so unfair to me, and the new testament God that seems so forgiving, and how they are the same.
I can not find compassion and leadership through a man that had multiple wives and killed women and children and then see the same god that led him leading my life. I can not understand a God that talks about children with love and then in the same leather bound book sends bears out to maul them. You know what I mean? I guess I'm just always searching and grasping at what understanding I can get, but it never seems to be enough. I am pretty sure that's normal, but no one ever talks about it... God is made out to be everyone's friend and buddy,and daddy, and in reality he isn't that to so many people, and it's even written that way, so I don't know why we teach it that way. Anyway, I think that's enough of my little brain right now. I miss you terribly, and also wish that we lived close so we could grab some coffee (or ice tea) and just chat for awhile. For now I guess I will just have to pound the keyboard a little more often to be illuminated by the wisdom that is Karen. Much love to you
Yes, I have nights of crying about the injustice and the hurts and the unfairness and the lack of truly motivated people to reach out to the hurts of others. Because I hear so many hurts in such a firsthand way, I often cry and grieve that I can walk alongside and point the way to Jesus, but can't "fix" the hurt. SoeYun, more later on this discussion of who God is (oh, I wish we could discuss this in person)-His character. It is not about being black or white or not being black or white-it is about accepting God for who He is-His full nature-and not re-inventing Him to fit our image of what is nice and compassionate-I think most believers love to think of the"love of Jesus" without realizing that God's mercy is powerful and real but it is a severe mercy, not a nicey-nice pat you on the head and accept anything kind of mercy. It involves a look into the character of God-His faithfulness, His justice, His truth...I love the OT and think the God of the OT and the NT are exactly the same God. He doesn't change-the method by which He calls for holiness is what changes. Keep wrestling this through my friend. It is a wrestling and God can meet the challenge. What is your address? I want to send you a thing I read (at Urbana! :) on prayer that I think addresses a little of this... Love you
Karen! As far as being in a bible study, I am not, and actually don't really plan on it. Not because I am against them or anything, but because I am so busy that I feel I have to pick one or the other. I haven't been able to do anything as much as I've wanted to recently, but hopefully I will get more accustomed to my new schedule this semester and be able to spend more time there.
I'm sure you know what I mean when I get so sick of the world - 4 or 5 times a year (ok, maybe more), I cry myself to sleep because I just can't handle how mean the world is sometimes, and I cry for kids I don't know, and people I haven't met, and people I know that hurt, and I can't ever find Jesus in it. So sometimes trying to explain to other people that Jesus is real helps me to believe it too. There are so many things that I can't wrap my mind or heart around, and I can't ever decide if my faith isn't big enough or if other people just let themselves be led blindly by anything that is claimed to be said in the name of Jesus.
When the bible says "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." does that mean that someone who lays down his life for someone, but never says, "Jesus, I love you" goes to hell?? Really?! Seriously? I would think it would take a lot of balls to go ahead and believe that, and I just can't. I can't take everything so black and white - even though I know that's the easiest way to teach things.. it just doesn't really work. I don't understand the old testament God who seems so unfair to me, and the new testament God that seems so forgiving, and how they are the same.
I can not find compassion and leadership through a man that had multiple wives and killed women and children and then see the same god that led him leading my life. I can not understand a God that talks about children with love and then in the same leather bound book sends bears out to maul them. You know what I mean? I guess I'm just always searching and grasping at what understanding I can get, but it never seems to be enough. I am pretty sure that's normal, but no one ever talks about it... God is made out to be everyone's friend and buddy,and daddy, and in reality he isn't that to so many people, and it's even written that way, so I don't know why we teach it that way. Anyway, I think that's enough of my little brain right now. I miss you terribly, and also wish that we lived close so we could grab some coffee (or ice tea) and just chat for awhile. For now I guess I will just have to pound the keyboard a little more often to be illuminated by the wisdom that is Karen. Much love to you
Yes, I have nights of crying about the injustice and the hurts and the unfairness and the lack of truly motivated people to reach out to the hurts of others. Because I hear so many hurts in such a firsthand way, I often cry and grieve that I can walk alongside and point the way to Jesus, but can't "fix" the hurt. SoeYun, more later on this discussion of who God is (oh, I wish we could discuss this in person)-His character. It is not about being black or white or not being black or white-it is about accepting God for who He is-His full nature-and not re-inventing Him to fit our image of what is nice and compassionate-I think most believers love to think of the"love of Jesus" without realizing that God's mercy is powerful and real but it is a severe mercy, not a nicey-nice pat you on the head and accept anything kind of mercy. It involves a look into the character of God-His faithfulness, His justice, His truth...I love the OT and think the God of the OT and the NT are exactly the same God. He doesn't change-the method by which He calls for holiness is what changes. Keep wrestling this through my friend. It is a wrestling and God can meet the challenge. What is your address? I want to send you a thing I read (at Urbana! :) on prayer that I think addresses a little of this... Love you
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home